| Amazon Customer Service Rep: | Sir, we're very sorry but your package won't ship until the 16th of September unless you upgrade your shipping. |
| Me: | I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for overnight charges, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my package go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. |
| Amazon Customer Service Rep: | I'm sorry sir, but you're going to have to talk to my sales manager. |
My name is Kat... meow. I love Autumn. I love ballet. I love Halloweentown weather. I love John Green. I love LOST. I love Allison Harvard.
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An Imperial Affliction
I just tried using Liam Neeson's speech from the movie 'Taken' to get free overnight shipping on a package from Amazon.
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